Time Stands Still

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I can’t believe it’s September. I can’t believe all that has happened throughout the past year. I can’t believe we are without our daughter. I can’t believe how far our son has come. I seriously can’t believe it’s September.

Since February, I feel like time has stood still.

When Mabry Kate passed away, as I was drowning in my sorrows, I had so much trouble coming to terms with the fact that the world was still spinning, that people were still living and that life went on. My whole world stopped. I was and still am stuck in the past. Time stands still.

How can it be that we have not been able to hold, touch, kiss or even look at our daughter for 7 months? How can it be that our son is almost 6 months old and he has only been home for 4 days of that time? How can it be that we haven’t lived at home in 6 months? How can it be that I haven’t worked a day in more than 7 months? Time has stood still.

I struggle with it being September. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that the world spins madly on as we spend our lives, for the time being, waiting.

Waiting for Owen to be well enough to come home. Waiting to be able to move back to Tennessee. Waiting to live as much of a normal life as possible after all the brokenness we have experienced.

And even when this chapter of our lives ends here in North Carolina, my world will still stand still. I will still be waiting. Life will still go on, and what a blessing and a joy it will be to watch Owen grow and learn. But we as a family will always be waiting and longing for the day that we can see our hero again. Our sweet Mabry Kate.

In my heart and in my mind, time will always stand still.

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