Reassurance

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Since it’s Sunday, I want to share a powerful story that happened the day after we lost Mabry Kate. It was also on a Sunday. I have shared it with some of my close family and friends, but would now like to share it with you also.

Saturday night (the day she passed), we didn’t get home until around 1 a.m. in the morning. It wasn’t until around 4 a.m. that we actually went to sleep, and neither of us were able to sleep for very long.

I remember waking up early, and just drowning in my sorrows. There’s no other feeling like it, and no other way to explain it. I literally felt as though I couldn’t breathe. I was having the most difficult time envisioning Mabry Kate in my mind. I couldn’t picture her, let alone her with Jesus. I wanted to see her so bad. I couldn’t handle it, so I took it to God.

I remember saying a prayer for reassurance. I’ve always been someone who needs reassurance about anything and everything, from what to order at a restaurant to what to wear to work. I like for people to tell me, whatever the case, that “It’s okay.”

Anyway, I needed God to tell me that she was okay. I remember saying a prayer specifically for that very thing. I wanted God to reassure me that she was okay and that she was with Him. I remember I cried myself to sleep during my prayer.

When I woke back up a couple hours later, I (for the moment) had forgotten about my prayer. I got my emotionally drained, sleep deprived body up to let my dog out. When I opened the door, a book that had been placed in between our front door and our storm door, fell to the ground. I was a little confused, and picked it up. It was what looked to be a children’s book full of colorful illustrations, but it was called “Mommy Please Don’t Cry.” I set it aside until I got my dog back inside, but I couldn’t wait to read it.

After coming back inside with my dog, I picked the book back up. Despite the title of the book, I began to cry. I hadn’t yet remembered the prayer I prayed earlier. As I read it, I tried to envision her doing the things it described. The book was essentially a child’s description of Heaven and their feelings and actions now that they are healed and whole.

As I continued to read, I got to a page about her singing with the angels. I remember as I read that page, I kind of chuckled a little, because at the end of the page it said, “You’d be proud of me, I have a pretty good voice. I must have gotten it from you.” If you know me, you know I love to sing, but can’t carry a tune, so that made me laugh a little amidst my sorrows.

Anyway, it was when I looked at the illustration of the song lyrics on the bottom of the page that I got chills up and down my spine and all over my entire body. The lyrics were from the song “Jesus Loves Me.” I couldn’t believe it! This was my reassurance! “Jesus Loves Me” is the song I ALWAYS sang to Mabry Kate, from the day she was born until the very day she died, and most days in between. My cries turned to laughs. I had the deepest since of joy and reassurance that I could have ever imagined or prayed for. It is, by far, one of the biggest answered prayers I have ever received.

The person who put this book in between my doors (which happened to be a lady who goes to my church) had no idea how God used her that day. She, nor anyone else other than God, knew that prayer I prayed that morning. The timing in which she came to my house and placed that book in between my doors was impeccable.

God knows me better than any person could ever begin to know me. He knew I needed reassurance, and he knew that was the perfect way to show me. Our sweet Mabry Kate is happy, healthy, healed and in the arms of Jesus, and one day we will get to join her!

Always open your mind to God working and orchestrating miracles, small and large, in your life. Sometimes he works in huge, obvious ways, but many times it’s in the most intricate and subtle ways. Don’t lose sight of Him, so that you won’t miss out on the gifts He may be trying to give to you!

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5 thoughts on “Reassurance

  1. Wilma Watson says:

    In the darkest times God’s hands show up and give us the sweetest blessings. Thank you for sharing with us little pieces of your heart. You will never know what a blessing you are. Mabry Kate and Owen are so blessed to have you as their Mommy. Prayers for Owen and your family.

    Like

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