Worth the Wait

IMG_2546imageWelcome to the new TeamMKO blog! I set this up to provide memories about Mabry Kate, updates and adventures about Owen and my thoughts and outlooks on things in this short life. Hope you enjoy!

For my first blog post, I want to express my thoughts on waiting. This is something my husband and I have done a lot of throughout the past couple years, and more often than not, it can be frustrating.

Time is something that always seems to work against us. When you’re waiting for something, time seems to slow way down. When you’re having a great time, time seems to fly by. It seems it is always working in the opposite way we would like it to.

Throughout the past year to two years, Kyle and I have really gotten to know what it’s like to wait. We waited almost a year and a half to become pregnant. I know this isn’t as long as some couples have to wait, but for anyone who has struggled to get pregnant, waiting for it to happen is really tough. I thought God was trying to teach me patience in the waiting we experienced becoming pregnant, but little did I know He had more to teach me about patience in waiting.

As you probably know, once symptoms began to show for Mabry Kate, we waited almost 4 months to get her diagnosis. All the while, she continued to regress. We felt helpless. Once your child is given a terminal diagnosis with a short life expectancy, unfortunately whether you want to or not, you often find yourself waiting and wondering when the inevitable will happen. This was a daily struggle. I never wanted my mind to go there. I always wanted to enjoy each and every moment we had with her, but sometimes (despite your best efforts) your mind goes where you don’t want it to.

Once we found out we were pregnant again, we waited yet again to find out if he had Krabbe also. Once Owen was here, it became an even bigger waiting game. We knew going into it that we would be here in Durham for nearly 6-8 months, so when we arrived back in March, the waiting to come home with a happy and healthy baby began.

With Owen’s transplant, we waited for the chemotherapy to be over, we waited on his hair to fall out (which thankfully never happened), we waited on the effects of the chemo to go away, we waited on the transplant, we waited on him to engraft,  we waited on his breathing to get better, we waited for the word “discharge” to creep out of the doctor’s mouth, we waited on the hold up the insurance gave us just before discharge, we waited until the day we could actually take Owen outside, we waited 110 days to start as much of a normal life as we could with our new son.

And now the wait continues. We wait for his body to continue to improve enough to come home, to our real home, in Tennessee. Waiting has seemed to become the story of our lives. When will all this waiting stop? Unfortunately, I don’t think it will.

In addition to everything we continue to wait for with Owen, we will always have a longing in our hearts to see Mabry Kate again. So we continue to wait. We will be waiting for the rest of our lives. I have recently been reading a book simply called “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn. I wanted to get a good idea of what Heaven, where my baby girl is, is like. I want to know what it will be like when we are all together as one big happy family.

As I was reading it, I came across a section about time in Heaven. It discusses how there has always been a misunderstanding that “time will be no more in Heaven.” This couldn’t be further from the truth, because, as Alcorn mentions, there are numerous references to time in Heaven in scripture. Some of my favorite examples he lists are:

  • “Heaven’s inhabitants track with events happening in time, right down to rejoicing the moment a sinner on Earth repents (Luke 15:7).”
  • “Paul spoke of Heaven in terms of ‘the coming ages’ (Ephesians 2:7).”
  • “We’re told that ‘there was silence in heaven for about half an hour’ (Revelation 8:1).”
  • “Martyrs in Heaven are told to ‘wait a little longer’ when they ask ‘how long’ before Christ will judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge the martyrs’ blood (Revelation 6:10-11). Those in Heaven couldn’t ask ‘how long’ or be told ‘wait a little longer’ unless time passes in Heaven.”

All this to say, since there is time in Heaven, that means there will be waiting also. The difference is that, in Heaven, time will be on our side. Everyone will be in their perfect form, there will be no more sickness or death and there will be no more tears. With all of that in mind, waiting won’t be painful in Heaven. My favorite part of this section of the book “Heaven” says this:

“When we say good-bye in Heaven, we’ll know people won’t die before we see them next. Time will no longer be an hourglass in which the sands go from a limited past to a limited future. Our future will be unlimited. We’ll no longer have to ‘number our days’ (Psalm 90:12) or redeem the time, for time won’t be a diminishing resource about to end.”

Though the waiting we go through now can seem long, tedious and painful, ultimately it will be worth it! The pain and suffering we experience now won’t be given a second thought when we are in Heaven. Thank you, Father, for the opportunity to live eternally in Heaven, where time is on our side.

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9 thoughts on “Worth the Wait

  1. Armando says:

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. The journey has still just begun. Many miles have been traveled, many tears have been cried….but many more prayers have been asked by not just the “A-Team” but every person that you all have ever touched by being the great people that you are. I myself could only hope that I could be as strong as you both as a parent. And that being said I am sure that your parents are very proud of the way they raised you both. We all be there soon to share smiles, hugs, laughter in a BEAUTIFUL place.

    Ashlyn, Amelia and Armando

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  2. Nancy says:

    Thank-you for sharing your story & faith…I am waiting too…
    Our firstborn child John got his angel wings at age 2 days…that was over 44 years ago… We have 2 healthy adult children
    now-but I will continue to miss John until that future day when he is in my arms…God has given us the
    Strength & Courage to endure the wait…may you all receive that blessing too… & the blessing of health & healing for Owen is my prayer …💜

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    • Thank you! I have hope that God will give us the strength and courage to endure this waiting for as long as you have. Reuniting with our children will make going to Heaven all the more sweeter. Thank you for your encouragement and prayers!

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  3. W. Cagle says:

    I know we don’t know each other, but I have followed your story. I live in Powell and we have mutual friends. I don’t know why this has happened to your family, and I’m not sure we will ever understand until we go to Heaven.
    With that being said, I know that your story has inspired me to be more thankful for what I have. It has been an inspiration to others who will suffer with this and many other diseases that take our children too young. So, you have been a Godly blessing to those around you. Just know that people you have never even met are praying for you and your precious (Earthly and Heavenly) family.

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    • Wow. Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement! They mean the world to our family. Your prayers are also much appreciated! Thank you for your support and for following our journey!

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  4. Dorecia says:

    Your writing is beautiful I’m sorry you and your husband have had to go thru this I’m praying for Owen and your life becoming normal I live very close to Hannah bear and try to visit her often so I will follow to see how Owen is doing God bless your family

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